RANDOLPH AIR FORCE BASE, Texas –
Spouses of those Team Randolph Airmen who are on deployment or remote assignment have a forum at the Airman and Family Readiness Center where they can discuss issues that arise while loved ones are away.
The "Deployed Spouses Group" meets at 11 a.m. on Wednesdays at the A&FRC.
Master Sgt. Todd Remington, 12th Mission Support Squadron readiness NCO in charge, said the group provides a basis of support for each other because spouses often experience the same issues.
"The best support group is your peers," said Sergeant Remington, who estimated that 270 Airmen or Air Force civilians are presently deployed or overseas on remote assignments from Randolph AFB. "When they hear another spouse dealing with a situation, it gives it a lot more credibility. And the spouse thinks, 'hey, it's not just me going through that.' So it kind of normalizes the situation."
Sergeant Remington said the A&FRC's Military and Family Life Consultants, commonly called "M-FLaCs," who rotate into the A&FRC every 45 days on a contractual basis, are present during the group's meetings to give spouses confidential advice and support.
So is Chaplain (Capt.) Daniel Giorgi, a 12th Flying Training Wing chaplain, who said the idea for forming the group was the brainchild of a former A&FRC M-FLaC, Greg Meyer.
"He saw the need," Chaplain Giorgi said, "and created, implemented, and facilitated the group under the guidance of the Airmen & Family Readiness Flight. After I heard about the group, I knew that I wanted to be a part of it. What's important about it is that there is available support. "
Chaplain Giorgi said the normal stresses of life are difficult enough. However, when there is a separation and deployment involved, the increase in stress is exponential. As a chaplain, he helps the spouses see how important faith is in coping with stress.
"That's just one of the many reasons why we exist," the chaplain said. "It's also nice to know that there is someone you can trust and confide in. When I sit and meet with people, they know through experience that somebody loves and cares about them and their needs. Hopefully, the stress is reduced, resulting in stronger relationships and a better quality of life."
Sergeant Remington stressed neither he, Chaplain Giorgi, nor the M-FLaCS guide the group's discussions.
"It's not our show to run," the sergeant said. "We want them to get as much interaction as they can among themselves."
The sergeant said discussion topics range across the gamut of problems - from what spouses experience when cars or household appliances break down suddenly, to how to deal with children who miss daddy or mommy and the difficulties that ensue.
Sergeant Remington said the group discussion topic sometimes focuses on what the deployed spouse will be like upon returning to the family and how the family will deal with them after experiencing trauma or stress on a deployment.
Sometimes Airmen that come home are stressed from the stories they hear from others.
Sergeant Remington said that at a large base in Southwest Asia where there's a rest and recreation center, many Airmen who work on the base experience stress when servicemen fresh from combat in Iraq and Afghanistan come there to rest and verbally "dump their guts" to anyone who will listen. Those on the listening end then bring that stress home.
Spouses remaining at Randolph also often use the forum to discuss what they can do to ease the transition in turning over some of the responsibilities of running a family back to the newly returned spouse.
Also, the discussions are a good way to vent stress with other adults after being home, surrounded by children, said one wife in the group.
"The best thing about the group is being able to have an adult conversation with people who understand and know exactly what you're going through," said Erica Nieves, wife of Staff Sgt. Richard Nieves, who is deployed to Kuwait from the 12th Security Forces Squadron. "It's a good outlet and a good stress reliever."
The group discussions are not just good for spouses at home, but for the Air Force as a whole, Sergeant Remington commented.
"The Air Force is a lot less likely to have family stress when spouses participate in these groups like these," he noted. "When this is reduced, it's better for retention. When it's not reduced, people might look for a different line of work."
For more information about the Deployed Spouses Group and other programs at the RAFB A&FRC, log on to www.randolphfamilies.com.