RANDOLPH AIR FORCE BASE, Texas –
Deployment can be a particularly stressful time for Airmen, and it poses unique challenges for those who are married.
But a seminar scheduled Oct. 24 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the chapel center addresses the issues facing couples during the deployment process and seeks to give them the means to weather those challenges and even strengthen their marriages.
The pre-deployment marriage seminar is designed to "help couples develop skills for staying connected emotionally while deployed because of the strain and stress that a separation due to a deployment places on couples," said Chaplain (Capt.) Cameron Gunnin, who designed the program.
The seminar, which is being presented for the third time, was developed at the request of Col. Jacqueline Van Ovost, 12th Flying Training Wing commander, said Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Richard Novotny, 12th FTW wing chaplain.
"She expressed the need shortly after I arrived in October of 2008, asking that we work to provide tools and skill sets for couples to help them better cope during the separation experienced as a result of deployment," he said. "Her vision ties in with the chief of chaplains' first priority of warrior care - taking care of marriages, strengthening families and helping singles build a foundation of faith to stand upon when called to deploy."
Chaplain Gunnin, a reservist who also serves as chaplain and a counselor at Saint Mary's Hall, a private school in northeast San Antonio, said he begins the seminar by "presenting some models that give a big-picture view of the entire experience emotionally and relationally, exploring what emotions are typically experienced at each phase and what issues are often experienced by couples at each phase as well."
He also leads a discussion on how to best prepare as a couple for a deployment, which includes a checklist couples should address prior to deployment.
Chaplain Gunnin's wife, Michelle, a licensed professional counselor experienced in working with couples, will discuss communication skills needed for deployment, and both of them will share resources available to keep couples in contact while they're apart.
They'll also facilitate conversation between couples so they express the range of feelings they have about the upcoming deployment and talk about their hopes and concerns.
"The intent is to help them practice being open and honest about their thoughts and feelings about their deployment and coming up with solutions to any concerns they already face or will face," Chaplain Gunnin said, a process that keeps them emotionally intimate.
The seminar also features Mitzi Wood, Family Advocacy Program intervention specialist, who will discuss deployment's impact on children and how to prepare children for a deployment, he said.
Chaplain Gunnin said the seminar addresses challenges before, during and after deployment.
"One significant challenge facing couples before deployment is not knowing what to expect, from the basics of how they'll communicate while apart to how safe and secure life will be in the deployed location to how the children will do if a couple has kids," he said. "There's also the very real concern that one or one's spouse could possibly be hurt or lose one's life while deployed."
Chaplain Gunnin said a key challenge during deployment is finding the best ways to cope with the stress of the separation and avoid damaging behaviors such as alcoholism, sexual or emotional affairs or excessive spending.
He said post-deployment challenges are "readjusting to life together, the mix of joy and sadness that is part of the reunion, as many are confused by the sadness of not being deployed or not being able to run one's life or home as freely or independently as before."
Chaplain Gunnin said he hopes couples will take away a number of messages from the seminar. Among them are that:
· They are not alone, that there are others who are experiencing the same feelings they have.
· They have a lot of people and resources they can rely on.
· They can be committed to one another and have the ability and resources to keep their relationship together and even strengthen it.
· They can choose healthy ways to ease the stress of their separation.
· They should be open and honest and share their emotions with one another.
Chaplain Gunnin said the seminar often becomes meaningful because it provides couples with the "structure and freedom to talk about and express one's thoughts and feelings."
"One aspect participants have really found strengthening, according to the feedback surveys done at the end of each seminar, is that they've learned that expressing one's deepest thoughts and emotions is actually helpful and strengthening and isn't as overwhelming as sometimes thought or feared," he said.
For more information, or to sign up for the seminar, call the chapel center at 652-6121 by Wednesday.