JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO-FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas –
Brooke Army Medical Center’s Department of Ministry and Pastoral Care, Maternal Child, and Pediatric departments held a special perinatal and pediatric loss remembrance ceremony on Oct. 18 outside the hospital's Garden Entrance.
“For many gathered here today, it has only been days, weeks, or months since we experienced the loss of a precious child,” said Army Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Jason Unsworth. “With this loss, we also experience the grief that surrounds unmet hopes - the loss of a new identity, the mother, the father, the grandparent. The loss of the unexpected, joyful memories that we excitedly anticipated over and over that never came to fruition.”
Unsworth emphasized that the ceremony is not about remembering the children, as they are never forgotten, but about recognizing that those suffering this monumental loss are not alone in their grief.
“It is my prayer that you will know that you are not alone in your grief, and that hope remains, and that the memories of your children, even though bereaved, can become a source of healing,” he said.
The ceremony featured prayers, scripture readings, and poems along with the reading of the names of the children who were lost in the last year, accompanied by the ringing of a bell for each child.
Rachel Neal, a volunteer from the organization Sarah’s Heart, shared her own heart-wrenching story of loss. She spoke about her journey with in vitro fertilization, the loss of her son, Zeppelin, and the emotional impact it had on her and her family.
“A little over four years ago, I received the news that my husband and I were unable to have kids the traditional way,” Neal said. “So, we embarked on the IVF journey. With the help of modern science and God, we found out we were pregnant with our son, Zeppelin.”
Neal said that she had an easy pregnancy, but her obstetrician thought that the baby was small. As a precaution, the couple went to the high-risk doctor who assured her that everything was fine.
“Four days later … I was going into my 38th week,” Neal said. “I was woken up by a dream and really bad shoulder pain. In my dream, my son, who looked like he was about the age of a middle schooler, told me he had to leave. I was holding onto his hand with everything I had, while everything around us was moving so fast.
“He kept insisting that he needed to leave, and I just watched him fade away into the chaos that surrounded us,” she said, struggling to hold her composure. “When I woke up, I knew instantly that something wasn't right, but I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he was gone, so I waited.”
Neal said she pushed on her stomach trying to make the baby move but she couldn’t feel any movement. She texted her husband and told him she was going to the ER to make sure everything was okay.
“At 11:08 a.m., I was told there was no heartbeat,” she said tearfully. “At 8:30 p.m., via C-section, I delivered the most beautiful, perfect baby boy. He looked so peaceful. Our reverend came the next morning and baptized our sweet baby. I will forever have a void in my heart that I feel almost every second of the day.”
She credits the love and support of her husband, family, and friends for reminding her that “sadness and happiness can coexist.”
“I will forever be thankful for the opportunity I was given to be Zeppelin's mom,” Neal said. “I am also thankful that he came to me to say goodbye and gave me the peace that he knew I needed. I will never know what happened to my sweet baby but in my heart, I know he was and is destined to do things that are beyond us here on Earth.”
The ceremony concluded with the release of Monarch butterflies.
“For those of us gathered here today, we have experienced the incomprehensible loss of little ones, some we held in our arms for a short amount of time, and some never even made it to Earth,” Unsworth said. “But even though their lives were brief and fragile, like butterflies, alighting ever so lightly upon our fingertips before they were gone, their legacies spread further.”