JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO-LACKLAND, Texas –
As Father’s Day approaches in the United States, many families can be found in the nearest shopping malls looking for just the right gift for their father or father figures in their lives, trying to find just the right gift to express their appreciation.
According to the Air Force Personnel Center, of the roughly 315,500 active duty Airman population, more than 71 percent are male Airmen. Also, more than 392,702 spouses and children are supported by these Airmen, making for several thousand fathers in the service.
New initiatives supporting family have been introduced throughout the years, including a change to paternity leave, allowing new fathers 10 days of non-chargeable leave after the birth of a child. Still, new or seasoned fathers in the military may not always have access to the kinds of support groups women may typically have, but the 59th Medical Wing Family Advocacy Office is seeking to change that by offering classes geared toward military fathers.
“I think the main struggle military fathers have compared to their civilian counterparts is tdy/deployments which can lead to the child(ren) taking longer to bond with the father,” said James Price, a licensed master social worker with the 59th MDW Family Advocacy office. “I think most fathers struggle with the same things/thoughts; will I be good a father, will I be too tough or too easy, how will my life style will change, what is my role (nurturer, disciplinarian or both) financial considerations. The dads the basic class that we offer, help guys talk with other guys about expectations, parenting, communicating with the spouse/significant other and emotional struggles they might face, in an environment that’s very informal and nonjudgmental.”
The “Dad’s: The Basics” course offers information to fathers such as how to physically handle newborns, change diapers, how to be aware of the psychological changes of becoming a father, information related to pregnancy, labor, and delivery, communicating with theirspouse, caring for an infant and managing family issues. The topics were chosen because they are not those you would typically hear in a room full of men, Price said.
“Most men don't talk to other men about parenting or seek advice about an issue we might be having with our child(ren),” Price stated. “Men don't typically go up to other men and ask or share, if they will use cloth or disposable diapers, will their significant other bottle or breastfeed, when do you start solid food and things of that nature.”
The Family Advocacy offices seeks to not only help men feel more comfortable speaking about these things, but to continually educate them on all aspects of parenthood while in the military, which should include constant communication with their families, as they also make sacrifices, he said.
“Some Airmen don't truly understand that when they have a family, not only is he or she in the military, but so is the entire family,” Price said. “They need to understand that in any family there will be challenges and for that family member that does not understand the military culture, there will be additional hurdles to overcome.
“I think informing Airmen about communicating, which means speaking and listening to their partner or child, should be our first priority to ensuring their path towards a healthy and strong relationship, Price continues. I believe if the families have an open dialogue about expectations, there is less likely to be any surprise situations down the road.”
Price also encourages new fathers to reach out to others if they are feeling stressed or confused. Added life stressors such as changes of duty station, temporary duties or deployments while expanding their families are a fairly common aspect of military service, and Price encourages all Airmen, but especially to find someone who can relate.
“I believe we have come accustomed to doing things independently, not wanting to "bother" anyone and in return, sometimes there is this tendency for others to not get involved, unless we are asked,” Price said. “Being in the military can be a challenge, but being responsible as a parent or becoming married also has it very unique challenges.
“Once established, a network will help the member and family to not feel so isolated. When we have the support of confidants and people we really feel comfortable expressing ourselves, we become more open and less afraid to let others into our life. No one can survive alone; we all need to make an effort to create a positive and encouraging network not only for our immediate family, but within the unit as well.”
Various courses are offered weekly at all Joint Base San Antonio locations and members are welcome to attend at an installation. For a detailed listing of courses available, visit http://www.jbsa.mil/Resources/Family-Advocacy/.