JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO-RANDOLPH, Texas –
Joint Base San Antonio offers an anger management course called Building Effective Anger Management Skills every six weeks at Fort Sam Houston and as requested alternating between Randolph and Lackland.
Anyone with a Department of Defense ID can enroll in BEAMS.
"We talk about changing our thoughts from thinking negatively to thinking positively (in response to what triggers anger) and learn that while we can't control other people's behavior, we can control how we react," Stacy Drones, Warfighter Family Life Program educator who is currently teaching the course at Randolph, said.
The course also addresses specific stressors that cause bouts of anger - or even deep-seated anger unique to the individual.
Bob Harry, Warfighter Family Life Program manager, said the course is not designed to be therapeutic, but rather proactive in helping participants recognize what triggers their anger and how they should positively manage it.
However, Ashley Duran, Warfighter Family Life Program educator, said some class attendees do find solace on a therapeutic level by simply talking about their situation.
Talking about issues can help peel back layers to discover where they came from.
"It's important that people reflect where their anger style came from," Harry said. "Family history, like the way your parents reacted when they became angry, can be one of the ways we learned how to anger."
Gender and cultural differences also may be factors that distinguish where anger stems from in individuals.
"Women traditionally tend to talk about issues, whereas men may tend to withdraw and internalize," Drones said.
But Harry said the stereotypes of the past are not necessarily applicable because many roles have been reversed; women are leaders in the professional sector and it's OK for dads to stay at home.
"Men are still less apt to talk," he said, but during the course many participants open up to each other.
In fact, "men are my biggest talkers in the room," Drones said.
"The community aspect of the class can be a catalyst for growth," Duran said.
Trust builds rapport among participants and instructors, becoming a major contributor to the success of the course, Duran added.
The other way success is gauged is through the willingness of attendees to perform exercises and techniques found in handouts that help salve their anger, Harry said.
"We have tools available that help recognize physiological and emotional responses to anger - be it a rise in heart rate or poor verbiage," he said. "Everyone shows anger differently, but there are universal signs as well."
There are also some universal de-stressors that can be used to diffuse anger-inducing moments.
"Stepping back from a stressful situation, disengaging for a moment and taking deep breaths" are a few tips Harry offered.
But one tip in particular can "make" - or rather save - relationships with family members, friends and loved ones when used.
"Think about what you say before speaking," Harry said. "Words are a powerful thing that can hurt people and when you're angry, you say a lot of things you normally wouldn't; you can't really take back the words you spoke."
An important lesson the class teaches is "every action has a consequence - good or bad," Duran said.
While understanding what causes anger is much of the mystery class members might struggle against during the course, their actions that follow onsets of anger are points of focus.
"There are constructive things to do to calm down like working out and listening to music," Drones said.
And then there is the other side.
"There are also destructive activities like drinking and shopping sprees that we teach participants to avoid," Harry said.
Ultimately, anger is not a bad thing; it can be managed and displayed positively, Duran said.
"Assertive rather than aggressive anger can lead to positive action," Harry said. "It can be an initiator like some of the reactions to social injustices in the 1960s - nonviolent movements that changed the social conscience of the world."
To sign up and get details about class times and locations, call the Warfighter and Family Readiness Program at 221-0349 or 221-2418.