RANDOLPH AIR FORCE BASE, Texas –
A free anger management course offered by the Health and Wellness Center is helping Team Randolph members understand the causes of anger and how it can be dealt with before it becomes destructive to a person's emotional and physical well-being.
The course is offered year-round in four sessions and is open to active-duty personnel, dependents and Department of Defense civilians, and is taught by John Gallardo, Randolph Mental Health Clinic counselor.
Mr. Gallardo said that people exhibit two types of anger, overt and chronic. Overt anger lasts for only a few minutes. Chronic anger can last hours.
"There are people who are always angry despite the situation," he said. "Those people have deeper emotional problems. But most people get angry because of something going on at work or at home. There are certain ingredients that can get people angry."
A person tends to get angry because he or she is in pain over internal conflicts or problems, Mr. Gallardo said.
Mr. Gallardo said a person gets angry because he or she is in pain over internal conflicts or problems.
"Pain plus blame produces anger," Mr. Gallardo said. "Anger that turns inward becomes depression. Blaming somebody else produces anger. Research shows anger is caused by core issues such as feeling ignored, insignificant or abandoned. People blame the others for pushing their buttons on certain issues, but do not themselves own up to those issues."
"Pain and anger are like a match and gasoline," Mr. Gallardo said. "Separately they are harmless, but when you put them together they are explosive."
People's lives are based on meeting certain expectations; when those expectations are not met, people sometimes turn to anger, he said.
"Expectations have to meet two things: it has to be promised and it has to be reliable," Mr. Gallardo said. "If our expectations are not met we get frustrated, which can be healthy. But if that emotion turns to anger, it is no longer good for you"
"You are not thinking when you are emotional, but reacting," he said. "If a person does not own up to his or her own emotions and blames someone else, those emotions are pulling him or her to a bad place."
"The antidote for anger is compassion," Mr. Gallardo said. "This means having empathy for the other person, putting yourself in his or her shoes and understanding where he or she is coming from. The other part is healing the wound inside. Anger is a temporary solution. It relieves the pain, but does not heal the wound."
Controlling anger starts when people deal with their problems and conflicts in a rational way, Mr. Gallardo said.
"In the anger management class, our objective is to change the way people think," he said. "We call that cognitive restructuring and start by having people buy into their core values and live by them. When a person believes those values, his or her self-esteem is high. When those beliefs are weak, they are ineffective and a person has low self-esteem."
"People need to get in touch with themselves," Mr. Gallardo said. "By learning how to resolve their conflicts, they can control their anger. If they just manage their conflicts, their problems don't go away."
The best time for a person to resolve their emotional issues and conflicts is when they are not angry, Mr. Gallardo said.
"The use of relaxation has been found to be effective," he said. "When you are relaxed, you can think more clearly how to resolve your issues."
Mr. Gallardo said there are three ways relaxation can be used effectively. One is through deep breathing. Inhaling and exhaling produces muscle relaxation. Another is tensing up and releasing specific muscles from the toes to the head. Third is positive imagery. Thinking about being in a positive place produces positive attitudes.
Those interested in taking the anger management course should call the HAWC at 652-2300.